Ungrounded? Some Reasons We Feel Ungrounded
There are many reasons people feel ungrounded.
My career as a therapist rewards me with the pleasure of meeting many truly remarkable persons. No, you don’t know them. The press hasn’t reported about them. These clients live everyday lives of quiet and stunning heroism.
Karen (names changed) lost her 4-year-old son in a car accident; she’s numbed herself to life as a way of surviving her pain. By night, Josh, the Gulf War vet, still fights the war in his nightmares; by day he keeps distant, aloof.
Far too many clients share the unforgotten anguish of being raised in homes where they were unwanted, unwelcome. Perhaps drugs stoned a dad or mom drowned herself in alcohol.
Let’s get honest. At times, life hurts very deeply. Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse gravely wounds. Accidents and other traumas shock. The loss of a loved one, an important relationship, or a job can undo us.
Then There’s Stress
The stress and hectic pace of modern living just overwhelm us sometimes. Sometimes the stress drives us like a chicken with its head cut off. Sometimes it just dries us up like a prune.
Sharon, the single mom of 5-year-old Davey and 8-year-old Monica, fights frantically every day to keep her kids fed, happy, and educated, the home clean, and her boss happy, not to mention her rush-hour commute. If she has 20 minutes for herself after the kids are put to bed, she’s lucky.
Mid-50’s Bill works at a company whose informal motto is “excellence through anxiety” (no kidding!). His thankless boss demands that Bill work 60-hour weeks. Bill’s job sucks him dry. He hasn’t time for his wife or himself. He afraid to refuse to work long hours, because he’s got credit card debt, his son is in college, and Bill might lose his job.
Ungrounded – An inelligant act of intelligence!
Ouch! When you burn your finger, do you stick it back in the flame? No, of course not! You pull it back, away from what hurt you.
Being ungrounded pulls us back from our feelings and bodies, away from pain, stress, and threat. It pulls us back into our heads. There we can try to control our feelings and life. There we can distance ourselves from our vulnerable feelings and bodies.
Being ungrounded is an act of profound intelligence. Yet it is inelligant, for it removes us from life.
Take charge – become grounded!
Occasionally all of us find ourselves thrown off and ungrounded by events. That’s life. Still, knowing how to quickly ground ourselves, and reestablish our equilibrium allows us to ride the ups and downs of life more easily.
But when our withdrawal becomes a way of life – day in, day out – then being ungrounded imprisons us in a stale existence. But life offers more than that. You know that. To enjoy all life offers, we need to be grounded in our feelings, our bodies, and our senses.
We can take charge of the quality of our lives and learn to be grounded as a way of life by doing a daily program of exercises specifically designed by psychologists to get you grounded.
Do you want to know one grounding exercise which can settle you when you are momentarily ungrounded? Follow this link for “The Curl” , (A Free Grounding Exercise). Try it. You’ll like it.